Dating in an Age of Digital Illiteracy

I was out with one of my good friends Cory Collins for coffee this week, and we got to talking about the dire circumstances surrounding dating. In case you were wondering, Mr. Tech and I are currently on a break. I needed some distance because trying to understand him in the ways James had suggested was exhausting me. Mr. Tech was not making it easy to learn about his intentions and history; the man is definitely not what you would call an “open book”. But as I look to re-enter the dating pool, I almost wish it wasn’t so easy to learn so much about a person based on their social media presence.

With a simple search and follow on Instagram, TikTok, and X, one can find out any and all posts someone has liked or reposted, as well as what creators they follow. Or more specifically, what photos of Instagram models in bikinis a man has liked, conspiracy theories he has reposted, and what racist, misogynistic Andrew Tate-adjacent creators he follows! I personally refuse to date someone who has contributed to any kind of hate online, whether they cyberbullied someone in school years ago or simply spread misinformation. All of this online hate has real life consequences such as violence, polarization and threats to democracy, which are very important issues I will not let any partner of mine contribute to... Starting now.

Cory on the other hand doesn’t think that this should be an automatic dealbreaker. As a teacher, he believes that it may not be these individuals’ faults that they did not receive a proper education in digital and media literacy back when they were kids. Apparently, even the current state of media literacy education is completely outdated, only measuring content as true or false, instead of looking at who made the content, what privilege exists in their perspective and their intentions behind it. He went on to explain that, in addition, most media literacy materials do not use real-world or relevant examples for students which causes them to still not be able to identify misinformation.

Cory also spoke about how the increased social media usage of his incoming students during the pandemic was very harmful because, without the proper digital literacy skills, many of them were drawn in by extremist rhetoric and recruitment and ultimately radicalized. I am sure this was probably the case for many adults around my age as well, since the concept of COVID-19 itself became such a polarizing issue that led many people to radicalization.

I still don’t understand why this means I have to date someone without digital literacy or attempt to teach them about it. I’m not looking to be anyone’s mother! In response, Cory said that it is not my responsibility to teach, only to advocate that this subject should be taught. Cory believes it should be up to educators like him to make sure the newer generations are more digitally literate than those who came before them. But what does this mean for me? That the dating pool for Generation Alpha will be filled with people who are cognizant of their biases and can identify both misinformation and misrepresentation, but all previous generations will have to deal with the digitally illiterate people they have?

James and Cory have both talked my ear off about the importance of education when it comes to dealing with technology, and Mr. Tech. I know I should probably start by educating myself to become the most digitally and media literate I can be. I am willing to put in the effort to use critical thinking and consider the intentions behind the content and technology I engage with; however, I am not so sure many people are willing to say the same. Especially the men who are hot enough that most women will look past even their reddest of red flags. But even if a full-grown man wanted to become more digitally literate or someone wanted to teach him, would it work or would it be a lost cause? I think I’ll let the “I can fix him” girls figure that one out while I wait for someone who checks off all my new-found relationship criteria boxes!