Auto-Correcting My Love Life

I know they say communication is key to any successful relationship, but lately I’ve been thinking I don’t have the right words to even begin to understand Mr. Tech. I disagree completely with the statement “Men are simple creatures.” Mr. Tech is an incredibly complex individual. What you have to understand about him is that Mr. Tech has a very important job and has worked for decades transforming the world as we know it with all these technological systems. Is he one of those problematic corporate types? Well, yes. I hear he has been complicit in not making issues like economic gaps, social divisions and climate change better. Okay, maybe even making them worse. But he didn’t mean to! Mr. Tech is all about sharing knowledge; he is full of information. I love that when I’m around him I can shut my brain off and don’t have to think.

However, I do acknowledge Mr. Tech is by no means perfect and can be a bit of liar. Okay, maybe not a liar, but he does use some pretty misleading metaphors. He can also be super mysterious and cagey at times. Take this for example: I knew he had a daughter named Cloud (what kind of name is that?!) but by the way he described her, it was like she lived on another planet and that’s why I couldn’t meet her. As it turned out, she lives in the country and also happens to be a huge anti-environmentalist. And Cloud knows a weird amount about me, not just what I’ve told her in our email exchanges, but pretty much everything that exists in my digital footprint. It makes me uncomfortable! It’s not that I have anything to hide, it’s just that I don’t know what’s she’s going to use all that information for. Blackmail? Personal gain? I’m a little scared of her; she holds a lot of influence over her father and me.

Some of my friends say Mr. Tech has completely transformed me and shapes how I act and think now. I don’t know about that. I try to engage with him on my terms, even though it is difficult since I am utterly in love with him. My friend James Bridle told me that if I want to stay with him, I really need to understand how his mind works and how and why he interacts with everyone in his life or else I will become powerless to him. He said if I don’t do something soon Mr. Tech will start being super selfish, and I may not even realize it. James further explained that I really need to learn about his history, how his parents may have screwed him up, and the intentions behind his actions. James assured me that he doesn’t think that Mr. Tech is necessarily a bad guy, but I have to better define his role in my life and our relationship. Apparently, this will determine if Mr. Tech drives me crazy or brings me peace. I see James’ point and the value of doing this since I would of course like to get to know Mr. Tech better as we spend so much time together. And I would be lying if I said Mr. Tech didn’t have a huge impact on me. To do be able to take James’ advice though, I have to rethink what is possible for me to think and know about him. I must become more knowledgeable about not only his job, but get to know him on a deep, psychological level. Maybe then I’ll be able to shape and direct him.

I think of the partner I choose as being an extension of myself, so I should more carefully examine how Mr. Tech behaves and presents himself to the world. Mr. Tech has his problems, but he’s all I’ve ever known, and I’d be lost without him. Plus, I keep in contact with a lot of people through him so I’d be losing a lot if I lost him. If I can’t live without him, I guess I should take James’ advice and learn how to live more effectively with him!